Angie
About me
My name is Angie. I’ve been with my wonderful partner for 19 years and one amazing five year old. I have been running a wedding photography business for almost a decade. I am someone who enjoys nature, dancing with friends, poetry, writing, drawing, and gardening – simple things that bring me happiness. My father is Cantonese, my mother is Korean. I am 39 years old, and was 39 years old when diagnosed.
My breast cancer story
I was experiencing constant fatigue and illness earlier in 2023. After several appointments bringing up my health concerns – I was diagnosed with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD). Later in the year, I found a lump in my armpit (November 2023) and breast, unfortunately. It was diagnosed as a fibroadenoma at the time. I knew something was off within two weeks as the breast lump had grown, and I was experiencing pinching pain. It was frustrating waiting for my biopsy during the holidays, and I spent most of that time waiting, feeling so much confusion and fear.
I was diagnosed on January 7th, 2024 with breast cancer and my chemotherapy started in February. I do wish I had gotten a mammogram and biopsy the first time I found the lump so I could have gotten my diagnosis faster. Unfortunately, I felt like I had to advocate for myself but I’m also grateful I can speak up for myself. I don’t hold any resentment towards my family doctor. I don’t think the system supports healthcare workers enough and there needs to be HUGE changes in how we screen young people for early detection of cancer.
When I was diagnosed, it felt like my whole world crashed and everything was moving in slow motion. It was during the holidays, and it was incredibly difficult to feel “okay” while with my family. I felt like it was going to be my last Christmas and suddenly every single moment had to count. It was devastating, confusing, and incredibly difficult.
My treatment was eight rounds of chemotherapy, a simple mastectomy for the diseased breast and a preventative mastectomy on my right breast. 15 rounds of radiation to follow. I’m currently experiencing menopause, neuropathy in my hands and feet, fatigue, and muscle weakness from the chemotherapy.
My biggest source of support has come from my family, and friends. I’m grateful I was also doing therapy before cancer, and I’ve learned some valuable tools dealing with difficult emotions and trauma. That’s not to say that it has been easy. For my mental health – I try my best to take it literally one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I try not to dwell too much on the past or future. Staying present, and practising gratitude has helped energize me and kept my mind from going to dark places. If I do feel negative emotions, I try my best to honour those feelings instead of running from them. I permit myself to feel sadness and grief with a gentle reminder to myself that all suffering is temporary. We cannot run from the hard parts of life; we must face them and give ourselves compassion in those hard moments. Nature has given me hope. A sunrise, seeing a butterfly, gardening. It’s been a gentle reminder for me that life always finds a way. I’m alive, my body is fighting and it’s enough.
My current challenge is simply having the energy to be there for my five-year-old daughter. I know it’s been hard for her and it breaks my heart. She misses her “old mommy.” Physically, I’m just always uncomfortable, heartburn, digestion issues, chronic fatigue and just not having the same amount of energy before chemo. Socially, it’s been hard as a young adult. I miss socializing, being with friends, driving myself to places, and missing my job as a photographer. I had to take a huge step back from work since my job as a photographer is incredibly physical. I’ve lost a lot of potential opportunities which has made things financially challenging.
Today, I am hopeful. I received news that my oncology team feels optimistic about my pathology results. My life has changed in every way, from being more conscious of my nutrition, my physical health, and spirituality. I’m exploring my identity in new ways spiritually. I also feel so much more gratitude for all the simple things; seeing a friend, driving myself to places, eating a delicious meal, playing with my daughter – all of it matters and is beautiful.
I learned that I need to love myself in all versions of myself. Life is too short to dwell in self-doubt and remain in toxic situations and relationships.
My message to others is this: advocate for your health always. Our health care system isn’t perfect and unfortunately, we may have to do the heavy lifting for ourselves sometimes. Find health practitioners who will advocate for you too. Trust your instincts and keep pushing your doctors to take a deeper look at any chronic health concerns. Take care of your hormonal health, eat well, exercise, and be kind to yourself.