I cannot remember the exact moment I found out that my Aunt Jean Ann had breast cancer. I vaguely remember hearing someone in my family say that she had found a lump while she was breastfeeding her second baby.

I adored and admired my aunt. She spent time with me at my grandparent’s lake house every summer. She took me shopping. She told me she loved my name. She had a laugh you could never forget, and rich brown, curly hair. She was fun and she made me feel special.

But I was too young to understand. Too young for anyone to explain what was actually going on. Maybe it was simply the time period – families back then didn’t think to explain to children what was happening when it was an “adult” problem to deal with. But at the same time, I was the oldest cousin and found myself watching the little cousins while the adults talked and worried. I recall hearing the word “mastectomy.” And the word “remission.” And the words “spread to her bones.”
I remember the day my dad came to my seventh-grade classroom door. Waved me from my desk in the middle of the afternoon and into the hallway. With tears in his eyes and a crack in his voice, he looked at me and said, “She’s not going to make it. I have to go. You will be staying with family friends.”

She was too young for this disease. I was too young to go to the funeral. Too young to be brought in to say goodbye. Too young to process the loss.

April 16th, 1985.
I was 12. She was 31.

39 years ago, this aggressive form of breast cancer didn’t really have a name. I remember it being called a “fluke.”
Her cancer experience has always been a topic of discussion in my doctor’s office. A box I tick on all of my family history forms. The reason for an early mammogram.

It took me 39 years to step into the breast cancer space and to be amongst people that have this disease. Deep fear and painful memories kept one cheek turned towards the awareness of its threat and the other turned firmly away from anything to do with breast cancer. Until two years ago, when a long-time client and friend asked me to take photos of her during her own breast cancer journey.
She was in the midst of treatment. Her hair had fallen out. And her chest was flat by choice.
Ellyn Winters-Robinson is bold and wanted to share it all without shame. I took a deep breath that day when I raised my camera to her body and her soul.

I pulled deep into my years of therapy and leaned into the opportunity that had come into my path. No longer as afraid. Welcoming the closeness of the scars. Knowing this experience came to me with purpose.

This year’s series with Dense Breasts Canada, “NOT TOO YOUNG”, focuses on 10 women under the age of 40, living with a breast cancer diagnosis. In 2024, it is now not too young to have this disease. Not too young to have to make decisions around fertility, career paths, young children, losing hair and breasts, identity and security in youth. Not too young to be checking your breasts every month and being breast aware. Yes, in your 20’s.
Breast cancer under the age of 40 is on the rise globally.

The research has advanced and treatments have changed dramatically since my aunt’s diagnosis almost 40 years ago. Who knows what her future might have been today. I am grateful for those changes for women today.

However, the fact still remains. Women under the age of 40 do not have access to routine screening unless they have a family history and even then, there are barriers to access that care. My hope for this series is that it will encourage deeper conversations with young women around their breast health. I hope they will be drawing strength from these 10 women and all they have to share. I want to thank these women for stepping up for all of us. It is not easy for people to talk about their health publicly. Each of these women wanted to do this for YOU.

The message today and always will be: Get to know your breasts and don’t dismiss any changes.

Though this message seems simple, I understand all too well that that is not the case for some. Trauma can come in many forms, and I recognize that for many reasons there can be barriers to this exercise. But this truly is your first line of defense and for most young women and under 40 their only first line of defense. Please go to Dense Breasts Canada’s partner Knowyourlemons.org to learn how to do a breast self- exam.

Beginning October 8th in Ontario, women will be able to self-refer for mammograms at age 40. No more requisitions needed! Be sure to learn and understand your breast density score: A, B, C or D. If you are a C or D category you should consider an additional test – an ultrasound or an MRI.

I sit at my desk each night with my aunt’s last portrait beside my computer. Thank you, Aunt Jean Ann for the strength to turn both cheeks toward this experience. To empower us all to take hold of our health. To not let fear keep us from advocating for lives.

NOT TOO YOUNG.
Much love,
Hilary

DBC Note: Hilary, we wish we could erase the sorrow your family has endured. We will forever be grateful for the gift of your photography in bringing striking images and powerful stories into our lives with NOT TOO YOUNG.