About me
My name is Sarah. I am a 38-year-old Canadian of Iraqi descent. I am the eldest of 6 kids, and I am lucky to have a wonderful, supportive husband, and 3 amazing children (ages 8, 5, and 3). I am a registered nurse by day and gardener/baker by night. My passion is my family, and I try to spend as much time with them as possible. I enjoy travelling and immersing myself in different cultures. I also enjoy the outdoors and have recently started portaging, dragon boating, playing soccer, and just enjoying life. My favourite pastime would be reading a book on the beach/outdoors while watching my children play. I was diagnosed with stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma just before my 37^th birthday. I am the first woman on both sides of my family to ever have breast cancer. Now, a year later, after much reflection and therapy, I am able to speak of my experiences and share my story.

My breast cancer story
I found a lump in early January 2023. I did not think anything of it as I had recently stopped breastfeeding and assumed it was normal. But I thought it wouldn’t hurt to get it checked out, and so I went to my family doctor. She told me that it was nothing to worry about, and that it was likely a fibroadenoma. But my lump did not move like a fibroadenoma, and I wanted to make sure. So I requested an ultrasound and luckily she agreed.

I was not worried when I went to my appointment, as I thought my chances were low, if not zero. But when the technician stepped out of the room to get a colleague for a second opinion, I knew something was wrong. From that day until the day I was officially diagnosed I lived in extreme anxiety and fear. I was unable to sleep or even think straight.

My life was forever changed on February 28, 2023. I was in utter shock. How could this be happening? Where did I go wrong? There must be a mistake. I had believed and hoped that my medical team was mistaken, and kept hoping that the many tests and even the breast pathology (after the mastectomy) would come back negative. But it didn’t.

I thought I was too young. I thought because I had no family history of breast cancer, or any cancer for that matter, it would not happen to me. I considered myself healthy, and active, and I breast fed! I thought it would offer me protection. I was so confused. I was in disbelief.

For months, I was unable to even utter the words BREAST CANCER. I would break down and sob just trying to say it. My thoughts went to my young children and family. What would happen to them? Will I see my children get married? Or even see them graduate from elementary school? I was a wreck. I was devastated that the life I once knew was gone, and replaced with hospital visits, appointments, and the unknown. I lived in extreme worry, fear, and sadness for a long time. I cried every day and often cried myself to sleep. No one, not even my husband, saw my tears, or my struggles. I wanted to appear strong, like nothing had changed, that I was still ok. But I was drowning inside, despite all the amazing support I had from my family, friends, and even strangers, with prayers, meals drop-offs, child-care, etc.

It was only after almost 11 months of living like this, that I took a leap of faith and tried to get help. The thing about being diagnosed at a younger age is that most support groups and programs are targeted towards much older women. I had a hard time finding something locally that would speak to the unique challenges of younger women dealing with breast cancer (fertility, caring for young children during treatment, career disruption, intimacy, etc). I was finally able to find a cancer life coach, who was also diagnosed at a young age. She helped me change my perspective, process, embrace my diagnosis, and move past it.

Today, only by the grace of God, can I say that I am a different person. A happier person. I would never have wished to have cancer; however, it has given me the opportunity to truly reflect on my life, and what is really important to me. It has given me a second chance to become more open and vulnerable with those around me, and most importantly to grow closer to God, learning to fully depend on Him.

Mainly, I have learned to pause. I have learned to slow down and appreciate the small things in life, and to just be present. Spending time with family, friends, and especially my children gives me the most joy, and that is how I choose to live now.

You’re never too young to learn how to live and appreciate life. Don’t believe because you’re young that it won’t happen to you. That your age, family history, lifestyle will protect you. It won’t.  So know your body, do self-exams, and always advocate for yourself. But more importantly, know that life is too short and fragile. So prioritize what is truly important to you, and live in such a way that will make your life meaningful. Cancer is not always a death sentence, rather it can be a call for change.