I was diagnosed with stage 2 lobular breast cancer on November 1, 2022 at the age of 46. After my mastectomy to remove who I like to refer to as the Louise to my Thelma, it was upgraded to stage 3 as it had infringed upon several of my lymph nodes. The news came like an unwanted familiar guest. I was no stranger to cancer. I lost my beloved mother in November 2016 to uterine cancer. My mother was like personified sunshine. Prior to her being diagnosed with cancer she had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer?s, and we cared for my mother in our home until she passed.

It was a full house with my parents, my two children, my two nieces and my two step daughters who would come every other weekend/week as my now husband shared custody with their mother. It was busy but I loved it. Self care was not something I practiced or even really considered. It was non stop, a mentality I inherited from my mother and probably passed on from her mother. There was always something to be done or someone who needed me. I?m ashamed to admit it but during the time my mother was ill and leading to her passing I neglected a lot of things and I feel at times some people. All that I could manage to focus on was being there for my mother the way she had done for me and our family all her life. I even neglected my own health. I had not gone to the doctor for years, no PAPS, and had cancelled many of my cardiologist appointments because I didn?t want to leave my mother. I should tell you I was what my parents called ?a miracle? though I?m sure if you asked my siblings, they would say I was a mistake. (LOL) My mother had toxemia during her pregnancy with me and I was born two months premature. As a result I had two open heart surgeries as a child. That story though is for another day, and spoiler alert it?s a good one!
I recall telling one of my life long friends about my diagnosis and even though I can?t quite recall word for word, the message still rings out loud and clear. She said, ?Marie, maybe this cancer is a way of your body giving you permission to slow down because you wouldn?t.?
After much pestering from my husband to go to the doctor to get my check ups done, which I later found out was his way of getting me to the doctor in hope our family doctor could encourage me to quit smoking, I booked the appointment and went.

While there, I mentioned to my family doctor in a nonchalant manner, like hey, while I?m here maybe you could check out my Picasso boob. You see, I used to joke that one was drastically smaller than the other. I mean it?s not abnormal- most women do have one- and mine had always been slightly different but over time it seemed as though Louise was shrinking. And there was a slight dimpling.

It felt like I just blinked my eyes and before I knew it my family doctor had referred me to the Breast Cancer Clinic at Markham Stouffville Hospital, and my life changed forever in just a moment. I remember saying goodbye and thanking Louise before the surgeon removed her. Almost like I was burying her and part of me that day. It wasn?t until recently when I went for a lymphatic drainage massage when the practitioner asked me if I had ever thought about WHY it was breast cancer I got. I was taken aback as it wasn?t something I really pieced together until then. She asked me well, ?What are breasts? Aside from their usual sexual context?? I said, ?Well, they fed my babies.? She said, ?Yes, they nurture. For years, you nurtured others, but not yourself. The body tells the story of your life.? I wanted to hug the 8-year-old version of myself and tell her it was going to be ok, and I was going to put myself first so that I could in fact continue to be around to nurture those I love. It was time to be my own breast friend. I wasn?t any less of a mother, wife daughter, friend if I made time for me. I want every woman reading this to hear me when I say self-care is not selfish, it is a necessity.

I am a thriver, a blogger (Tittalkwithyourbreastie.blog), a dedicated volunteer, and advocate. I believe every conversation is an opportunity to share my story and inspire others to prioritize their own health. Be YOUR own breast friend and love you how you love everyone else in your life.

DBC Note: Thank you, Marie for bravely sharing your story and inspiring all of us to put our health first. Your message is a powerful reminder to prioritize self-care and show ourselves some love.